As a kid I don't remember much of church or the Savior. I did not know much about prayer either, but for some reason every night I remember praying asking for the simplest things. I wasn't raised in a religious home...I was always around drugs, alcohol, violence and bad examples. Though my life was hectic that did not stop me from accepting the gospel. I was almost 14 when I had first heard of Mormons. One of my friends invited me to a Christmas dance (even though you had to be 14, I did not know at the time but my birthday was a few weeks away). I had a blast, but little did I know that that encounter with the church would change my life forever. Though I had only attended church a few times after that, I felt at home. It seemed like a safe haven for me. But things happened and I moved out of my friends family apartment and went back home. I lived in an area where there was always violence and shooting etc. So no missionaries were ever allowed back there (at least that's my guess). I didn't really think much of the church after that, I just always stayed inside. Months later in September of 2008, two tall handsome white men knocked on my door. Whose going to turn that sight down ay!! But after a few lessons I did not hesitate to agree to be baptized. Going to church took me away from reality, and helped me feel more loved. Not long after my baptism (which only consisted of the missionaries, my friend, the bishop, one other leader and myself), my family became homeless due to a hurricane and some other issues. For months I had to deal with brushing my teeth in the car on the way to school, taking a bath at one place and sleeping in the next. It was terrible. But for some reason I always was comforted. At that same same age (14), I moved in with my Young Women leader and through her family I've learned the true meaning of family, love, the church, prayer, etc. It was a huge blessing for me to finally have my own room. But that dream didn't last much longer. After almost 3 years I found myself having to move out. I was almost 17 years old. But, after being on the street many years my mom managed to get a place with her boyfriend. Though I was sad, I was happy to have seen my mom after so long. The first few months were great until the missionaries came over to teach my baby sister about the gospel. My mother never had an issue with me being LDS, but apparently her bf did. Once again (at age 17) I found myself being kicked out, and having to find a place to stay. For months I dealt with verbal abuse...I blamed God, I hated my mom's boyfriend and her even more. I hated my life...I couldn't deal with the pain anymore. So I turned to drinking. It's only lasted that summer, until I finally found another place to live. Another church leader took me into her home with her husband my senior year of high school. Life was great once again. I worked hard on getting my seminary diploma and my Young Women Medallion (Personal Progress program). But happiness never seems to last in my life. After my first semester of college I found myself starting on my mission papers, everything was done...until I found myself hanging out with the wrong crowd of people. And the drinking kicked in once again. Every bit of pain I had ever felt rushed back into my life...I wanted to die. I didn't feel loved. I was beyond hurt. So my mission was a no-go. I let life get in the way of that. Though I was "too in-tuned with the world," this gospel never left the back of my mind...I always tried to talk to my Heavenly Father about leading me. It took about two months to realize that I had to turn to Him as well...so with a little faith I had left, with every cigarette I put out, and every cup of alcohol I poured down the sink, I was to see a little clearer. And for the first time in my life I decided to do what was right for MYSELF. Not for any member who had taken me in, or for any of my friends or family. It took time, but I was able to grow a close relationship with my heavenly father once more and feel of His love. This gospel has taken me places words can not explain. For years I had been confused, I've fallen, made mistakes and turned far from my savior and heavenly fathers love. But I've learned to get up every time. I've learned to fight even harder...stronger...longer. This gospel has forever changed my life. No one can ever break the strong testimony that I've gained these past few years. And if I had the opportunity to choose a better way of life if I was asked to give up this gospel and the things I know....I wouldn't take it, I'd put on the whole armor of God and fight my way through it all over again. I've lived life with and without this gospel...I cannot survive alone without it. Words cannot express how grateful I am to have come across the missionaries and this gospel at the time I did. It's been so life changing. I have finally learned true happiness...true love...true friendship, all from my Heavenly Father. This gospel is true. I know it, I live it, I LOVE IT.
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